I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
