A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
try to milk me bitch
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