would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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