Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
