naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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