I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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