Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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