Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
