hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
