It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
love makes seman taste better
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
