I smell stomach acid.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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