I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
