u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
