what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
