**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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