I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
