when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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