His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
