loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
