You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
