laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
