I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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