1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
literally had 100 drinks last night.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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