She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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