I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
