Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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