Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
