2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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