Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
