He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
