so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
