she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I wish there were birth control emojis
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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