seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am naked and annoyed.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
