Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Two words: nipple clamps
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