why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
be right there i have to get my cape
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
