Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
