He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
