i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
