It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
