sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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