Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize