garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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