Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
