This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
How external is "for external use only"?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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