I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
