I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize