apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
a search helicopter?!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize