Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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