I got chris browned last night
Plan B is the new Plan A
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Randomize
