she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
