Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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