At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
