my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
