I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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