plz talk dirty to me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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