If i come over, it means nothing
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
