i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
