im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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